


Thinking about being you

by Gallus



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Other, mild cannibalistic thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:47:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallus/pseuds/Gallus
Summary: Short character study-ish piece.





	Thinking about being you

**Author's Note:**

> barely edited and written over three solid days of insomnia. Kinda proud of how it came out, all things considered ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Eddie Brock has recently decided that the concept of the self is based entirely around one's personal likes and dislikes, and that maybe individuality is a social construct 

To be fair, Eddie’s grasp on his own self is tenuous at best these days.

See, the thing is, the person known as Edward Charles Allen Brock hasn't been only one person for a while now.

There's the human named Eddie, who likes writing and dislikes heights, and there's the klyntar dubbed V, who likes chocolate and dislikes most music, and somewhere between them there's Venom.

The thing about being Venom though is it's not a binary. It's not like they are either Venom or they aren't. It seems to them that maybe their almost always Venom, at least a little bit.

Sometimes Eddie feels less like a person, and more like a living Kinsey scale. 

(On a scale of one to six, with one being not at all how and six being exclusively, much do you enjoy the following activities?

-Listening To Music  
-Eating Tater-Tots  
-The Concept of Having Bones  
-Being In High Places  
-Taking Hot Showers  
-Eating People  
-Being Alone

(Eddie: 3, 4, 6, 1, 5, 1, 1,

V: 2, 5, 1, 4, 2, 6, 1,))

Because there's being V, and there's being Eddie, and somewhere in the middle there's being Venom.

Being V is like running. It's like the rush of wind brushing against Their teeth as They leap from building to building. But it's also like being careful to stay just around the corner, so that no one sees Them.

Once, for vacation, Eddie drove them out far, far away from people, and into the woods. There they were allowed to be V, were allowed to be Them, for a whole week. And for a whole week They ran, and ran, and _ran_ freer than anything in this stupid, backwater solar system. When They felt hungry They hunted. When They felt tired They curled up tight in Their treetop nest, and whispered bedtime stories to each Other.

It was fun, and freeing, and almost perfect, _but._

But They had to hide from campers, and run from sharp-eyed hunters, because they wouldn't understand, can't understand.

If being V is like running than being Eddie is like solving a puzzle. It's like the feeling They get when They type out a sentence that's _just_ right. But it's also like staying on guard during an interview. Not rising to any bait, no matter how much They want to show this pathetic human how much better They are.

The first time they had been Them as Eddie had been an accident. They were halfway through with breakfast when They realized. _"We can be like this"_ They had said to the open air, and it had been a question, and an answer at the same time. 

They were able to spend several, wonderful hours at home exploring this new facet of We before They had to go out, and than.

Than They had to remember how often to blink, and not to stretch Their arms too far, and how to say "me, me me" instead of "we, we, We".

Sometimes though, Eddie wishes that they could always be Venom.

When they're Venom it's like they're perfect. They're strong, and smart, and fast, and nothing can hurt them. It's good to be Venom, and to run as fast and as far as they can, but it's also good to just be.

Sometimes when They're Venom They prowl the streets of Their territory and make sure nothing too disagreeable is going on. Most people only need a good scare to set them on the right track, so need a little more.

Sometimes when They’re Venom They go for a swim in the bay. They shift Their shape just a bit so They can keep up with the sharks, and They race around the terrified marnie life for hours.

Sometimes when They're Venom They don't even leave home. They like to lie in bed, and eat fancy snacks, and feel what it's like to be us.

Eddie can hardly remember what it's like to be alone. When he can remember, really remember, the feeling of being alone, it’s, not good.

It’s not just the silence of being alone, there’s also the decision making. Eddie never realized how many things people have to do in a day. It’s so much better now with V sometimes stepping in to do make a decision, or offering their input on something, or even moving their body from point A to B.

Just the thought of having to be in 100% control of his own body for a whole day is enough to leave Eddie exhausted.

Eddie Brock has been thinking lately that the concept of self is flimsier than people think, and that individually is probably fake. Because, for awhile now, Eddie hasn’t been just one person. And honestly? It’s the happiest Eddie’s ever been.


End file.
